As you can guess from this title, I have ended it with the said guy I was dating in the previous post. At first, I was upset because I have never done the dumping before, but I knew that I wasn’t happy in the relationship, so I had to get out.
I didn’t do it the way that I should have and ended things by text (I know, I’m a terrible person), but I have been so busy with work, and I honestly don’t know when I would see him next. I just needed to do it. So I typed a quite blunt but to the point message, explaining that a relationship is not in my plans at the moment, with travels and work taking up my life (but bossin’ it, if I may say so myself).
Coming home yesterday after work to an empty bed was quite sad. I was already being a bit of a saddo and was missing cuddles. But then, as I was shoving ice cream into my gob and sobbing at The Best of Me (if you haven’t watched it, do, but bring tissues), I realised that I shouldn’t feel sorry about the breakup. I then put my mind to it and thought of some ways to not feel sad about ending things.
I Wasn’t Happy
The first rule of thumb, if you aren’t satisfied, get out! Trust me; life is too short to be miserable. Once that text was sent, it felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders. I had been planning my moves all week, and finally, in the space of a second, my worry was gone. I had a productive day at work and felt much happier with myself and life. Sometimes we have to go through some pain and upset to be happier in the end, and that’s why we have girlfriends, wine and chocolate.
You Aren’t a Bad Person
My first thought was “Oh my god, I’m never going to be able to date again, I am such a bad person. Who will ever want a bad person who breaks up with someone over text?” Surprise surprise, most breakups in the 21st century are done via text message, so you’re not alone or a bad person for doing it. In some ways, it makes it easier, as you can text them “Bye” and block their number. Now I’m not saying that’s what you should do, but it’s there if you need it.
Don’t get bogged down by the fact that you took control and ended it. At the end of the day, if you aren’t happy, then you are well within your right to do it. If the person you were with really cared about how you feel, and you explain that the relationship isn’t making you happy but instead stressed and slightly crazy, they should be understanding and respect your wishes.
Now that you are a single pringle, you don’t have to be ready to mingle straight away. “Take some time to do you. Date yourself.” I bet you’ve heard that cliche phrase, but never actually done it. Well, now’s your chance. Go to a restaurant by yourself and eat a gorgeous meal. Go on a shopping spree and buy a new pair of shoes. Starfish in the bed and take up as much room as possible. It doesn’t have to be material things you do to date yourself. Start investing in your health. Meditate a bit. Indulge yourself. Take time to focus on your short and long-term goals and set out a plan of how you want to attack the next couple of months. By setting out a program and a timeline of what you want to achieve with a time limit, you’ll be too focused and driven to even think about your ex.
Ok, so sometimes, you just need to let loose. This could be from as simple as going out with your girlfriends, dancing till the early hours and grabbing a kebab on the way home. Or you could take a long weekend from work, go somewhere abroad or do something you’ve always dreamed of – a skydive, skinny dip. Now is your chance to live a little. I’m not saying jump into bed with anyone (unless you want to, then you go girl, just be safe!) but get out of your shell and live. You’ve got the freedom to try new things, make mistakes, learn something new and develop!
There’s that famous quote “Do something every day that scares you.” I’m not too sure who said it, but I love it. If there’s a fit guy in a bar, go up to him and start talking to him. You don’t have to ask him out (though you’ll get extra brownie points if you do) but having the confidence to go up and talk to him will give you such a boost. Majority of the time, he’ll either be taken, married or gay – but if that is the case, you might have just made yourself a new friend – winning all around!
Now, this isn’t a bible to live by, but it’s tried and tested by myself more times then I’d like to admit. Not that I’m always the one doing the dumping – I mean let’s be honest, I’m usually the dump-ee. But either way, the self-love and time to care for me is always a must.
Anyway, enough rambling, back to binge-watching rom-coms and eating tubs of ice cream.
Lots of love chickens,